Every parent-teacher conference season, I walk away with the same question: what can I adjust as a dad to help my kids develop the habits and mindsets that truly serve them?

Lately, that question has centered on risk-taking. Life is fundamentally a use-it-or-lose-it proposition. If we don’t get comfortable with uncertainty early, the world quickly shrinks. Kids need calculated risks to discover what they actually enjoy, develop purpose, and build the kind of self-trust that carries them into adulthood.

The developmental research backs this up in three distinct ways:

• Thrilling play is nature’s exposure therapy. Work from Aarhus University’s Recreational Fear Lab and developmental psychologist Ellen Sandseter’s framework on risky play show that when children engage with heights, speed, and uncertainty, they experience real physiological fear and discover they can navigate it. Surviving those thrilling moments teaches the nervous system that discomfort is temporary and manageable, acting as an evolutionary buffer against chronic anxiety.
• Hazards cause injuries; risks build competence. A comprehensive systematic review on risky outdoor play highlights a critical distinction between a hazard and a risk. A hazard is an unseen danger a child cannot evaluate (like a rusted playground bolt). A risk is an observable challenge they can size up and choose to tackle (like a tall climbing wall). Eliminating hazards is good parenting; eliminating risks robs kids of spatial awareness and body calibration.
• Praise dictates whether kids lean into challenges. Research highlighted by Stanford’s Bing Nursery School on Carol Dweck’s work revealed that well-intentioned “person-praise” (“You’re so smart”) actually creates risk aversion—kids start avoiding difficult tasks to protect that label. In contrast, “process-praise” (“You worked hard to figure that step out”) gives them permission to embrace harder, uncertain tasks because failure is treated as useful feedback rather than a verdict on their identity.

Knowing science is one thing; putting it into practice at the playground and around the dinner table is another. Here is what I am actively doing:

• Ditch “Be careful.” A few weeks ago, my three-year-old was scaling a high climbing structure. My immediate dad impulse was to tell her to climb down. Instead, I walked over and stayed within arm’s reach, giving her an invisible safety net while letting her explore new heights on her own terms. Shifting away from alarmist warnings toward calm presence or body-awareness questions keeps kids in active problem-solving mode rather than panic.
• Praise the courage of the attempt, not the outcome. When we only celebrate a clean win, kids learn that an uncertain attempt is a bad bet. I’m focusing on recognizing the grit, the attempt, and the curiosity to try something hard, regardless of whether it worked on the first try.
• Model uncertainty out loud. Kids assume adults have everything figured out. I want my kids to see that embracing the unknown doesn’t stop when you grow up. Both personally and professionally, that means visibly leaning into things I haven’t mastered yet and openly saying: “I don’t know how to do this yet, but let’s figure it out.”

Raising confident kids doesn’t mean paving a smooth path in front of them, it means making sure they know they can handle the bumps along the way.

It feels like the talk of interest rates and how high they are is everywhere. I don’t think I go a day without reading or hearing someone mention how high rates are. I do it myself as well. As a homeowner, I talk and think about the rate I got versus the rate I would get today. I found this chart put together by Axios with info from NYT and Federal Housing Finance Agency puts into perspective why it is such a prominent topic. Dating back to 1998, the gap has never been as wide as it is now.  

When I shared this chart with someone who has bought homes since the 80s, I learned more about this delta further back in time. He told me about an assumable mortgage he used to finance a house in 1981. The market mortgage rate he said was 18% and he picked up the seller’s existing mortgage at 9% which is a wider delta than we have today. This gives me hope that America can get through this. We’ve done it before.

A listen I found valuable this week is a podcast from Cal Newport. He goes through the history of productivity over the last 20 years with important themes and popular books.

One book he talks about is Steven Covey’s 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. I remember I had a hockey coach teach me about this book in the early 2000s. I took notes on each as he walked through them. I was an early teenager at the time and thinking back I remember enjoying the classroom part of the hockey camp where I learned about this. It was good to get the mind going as well as the body physically moving.

Also posting the Spotify link here.

In 2023, I successfully created an exercise habit that is now ingrained in me. I believe some of the lessons I learned from this experience are applicable to building good habits for anyone trying to reach their goals whether it be fitness or something else. 

At the end of 2022, I got a Fitbit for Christmas and programmed a goal of 5 days of exercise per week. I ended up hitting 7 days most of the 52 weeks. I only didn’t exercise 26/365 days. I didn’t miss a workout day in June, August, and December. I did this on top of having my second kid during the month of April. 

I really surprised myself with this. I have always loved exercise but have never been this consistent in my life until now. A few changes in mindset or actions really helped achieve this:

• I kept the bar low with the aim of 10 to 20 minutes a day. I sometimes did more but as long as I hit 10 mins, that was enough. 10 min jog, 10 min bike, 10 min foam roll, etc. The bar was low and still is. 
• Keeping the bar low also simplified the activity in my mind so it wasn’t such an ordeal. When I was crossfitting a lot, I made workouts an ordeal. I needed at least 1.5 hours to get the workout done. Now, I just started moving my body if I only have 15 minutes which lessened the mental burden of making it happen. 
• Lastly, I removed friction by laying workout clothes out the night before or just wearing whatever I had on. I made it really easy to change into workout clothes. 

That’s pretty much it. I never read the book but this experience made me think of Atomic Habits which I’ve talked about with a lot of people over the years. 

I am applying these lessons to 3 things so far in 2024 (1) nutrition (2) writing on this blog (3) personal finances. We’ll see how it goes!

I never knew that bringing a kid to work day was a national holiday until yesterday. Last year when my son was 2, I wanted to participate but our second child came a few days before. This year, I saw it on the calendar 2 weeks out, and knew I wanted to make sure we participated. As the date got closer, I let my son know he would be coming into work with me after school on Thursday. Like I always do for special events, I try to let him know a few days in advance and then remind him a few times a day after that. 

The wild thing I didn’t anticipate was the excitement built each day that came closer. His excitement passed to me as, especially as we headed out to drive to the office. My wife dressed him in a similar outfit to me and he was chatting it up about going to work with his dad. 

We got there and he had a blast. He was a little timid at times but found things he loved, which were cars, the view of the Charles River from the kitchen where we were watching the boats, and the snacks. I was also proud to hear him answer popular questions from people I work with such as, what is your name? and how old are you? 

This also brought back a few memories I had of joining my dad at work. Often using office supplies, admiring views, and meeting others. 

In today’s world where the youth population is dealing with a mix of mental health challenges, I find a day like this truly powerful. It gets kids out of their school routine into a different but real world experience that opens their eyes to career possibilities and allows them to meet new people.

I hope my family can participate in this national holiday for years to come.