I get insanely curious about that thing. I read more. Or do more of it.
While reading, I also get jealous of the people who do know how to do it. Which is sometimes not very good.
That jealousy leads to anxiety. I feel like I can’t sleep till I know how to do it.
The anxiety becomes chronic, and I shut other important aspects out of my life mainly because I focus too much on that one thing that I want which I don’t really want. I just want it because of the jealousy emotion that came from being exposed to it.
This is good because it means I can learn new things and be motivated. I should pay a little more attention to when the jealousy emotion creeps in, and then make a decision as to whether or not I want to pursue learning that thing.
This is also bad because it frustrates me. Anxiety is not fun and anxiety that is chronic is less fun. When that chronic anxiety is on, I am not happy in the moments and experiences that matter.
I need to do a better job of managing this.